Imagine trying to juggle flaming torches while riding a unicorn on a tightrope. Sounds impossible, right?
This is how a lot of us feel when trying to achieve “work-life balance.” We think we should find a perfect equilibrium, but in reality, it’s more like a dynamic dance. And, like dancing, there’s no one “right” way.
In this article, we’ll explore the elusive nature of work-life balance, what it means, and how to work towards a comfortable balance both mentally and practically.
1. The Myth of Perfect Balance: Why It’s a Mirage
Ever feel like you’re chasing a mirage in the desert? That’s what the pursuit of perfect work-life balance can feel like. The truth is, balance isn’t about equal time for work and life; it’s about finding what works for you. According to a study by the Harvard Business Review, 94% of professionals work more than 50 hours a week, yet many still feel they’re not doing enough. Do you think this is crazy? I do…
Sidenote: I radically changed my life after a phone call with a financial planner who told me to just keep doing what I was doing for the foreseeable future. And what I was doing was going insane trying to do it all with work and family. So we decided to hop off the “busy” train… and moved to another continent. You may arrive at a different solution!
In the end, the key is to redefine balance as a personal and flexible concept.
Practical Tip: Identify your core values and prioritize tasks that align with them. There is a whole world of work here, but the fundamental question is: Are you using your time as a tool to support you in moving towards your goals?
2. The Mental Tug-of-War: How Your Mind Plays Tricks
Do you find yourself thinking about work even when you’re off the clock? This mental tug-of-war can be exhausting. Our brains are wired to focus on unresolved tasks, a phenomenon known as the Zeigarnik Effect. This can make it difficult to switch off.
I personally work with a few different thought patterns that can cause a lot of discomfort if they get too loud. First, “I should be doing all the things at once, and if I’m doing this thing, it’s not enough because what about the other thing?”, and “I should always be working.” That last one is an artefact of growing up in a very career-focused, high-achieving culture. Blessings and curses… I’m curious what your loops are!
Practical Tip: Practice mindfulness techniques, such as meditation or deep breathing, to help your mind transition from work to personal time. Also, respond internally to the thoughts you are working on to change. This helps to re-route the train of thought before it builds up too much steam. For example, when your brain says, “I should be working right now.” But if you are helping a child with a bath or homework, you can respond, “I am doing what is important right now, and I will do that work at a scheduled time.” It helps actually to have a scheduled time. If you don’t have the task scheduled, offload the task mentally by writing it down or scheduling it.
3. The Illusion of Productivity: Are You Really Getting More Done?
In a world that glorifies busyness, it’s easy to equate long hours with productivity. However, research from Stanford University shows that productivity per hour declines sharply when a person works more than 50 hours a week. I personally start to dissolve far before then, because I have a lot of family commitments, and I have chosen to make time and energy for that.
Practical Tips: Make an ideal schedule for your week. Come to terms with how much you can reasonably accomplish in a week. Prioritise and schedule important tasks, not just urgent tasks, to give yourself a feeling of progress. Find a working style that supports your brain. Some people like the Pomodoro Technique: work for 25 minutes, then take a 5-minute break,to maintain focus and efficiency. I tend to hyperfocus/distraction and don’t like breaks like that once I’m settled in to work. Instead, I schedule longer blocks of focus time and work to get myself into a productive flow state. I try to block meetings to preserve my focus.
4. The Role of Technology: Friend or Foe?
Technology can be a double-edged sword. While it allows for flexible work arrangements, it also blurs the lines between work and personal life. A survey by Deloitte found that 59% of employees check their work emails outside of office hours. Then, there are those hours spent looking for the meaning of life in our phones…
Practical Tips: Set boundaries by designating specific times to check work emails and turn off notifications during personal time. Before you start scrolling on your phone, ask yourself, “What am I looking for?” and listen to the answer your mind gives you. You may think it might not be on the phone after all. Another good question is, “What do I actually want to do right now?” It may not be looking at your phone, or you may choose to limit your time somehow.
5. The Power of Saying No: Protecting Your Time
Saying no can be one of the most powerful tools in achieving work-life balance. It’s about setting boundaries and protecting your time. As Steve Jobs once said, “It’s only by saying no that you can concentrate on the things that are really important.”
Practical Tip: Practice assertive but positive communication to decline tasks that don’t align with your priorities.
6. The Importance of Self-Care: Fueling Your Well-Being
Self-care is not a luxury; it’s a necessity. Taking time for yourself can improve your mental and physical health, making you more resilient to stress. Sleep Well. Eat Well. Drink Water. Get Exercise. It’s not rocket science, but scheduling it can feel like it. I wanted a push to exercise a few years ago, and my doctor said, “Well, do you want to see your kids graduate?” So, that was a good one.
Practical Tip: Schedule regular self-care, exercise, and SLEEP. Make a meal plan, and make it as easy as you need to.
7. The Support System: You’re Not Alone
Building a support system can make a significant difference in achieving work-life balance. Whether it’s family, friends, or colleagues, having people to lean on can provide emotional support and practical help.
Practical Tip: Communicate your needs and seek support when necessary.
In the end, “Work-life balance” is not a one-size-fits-all solution.
Working towards making sure the way you spend your days suits you and supports your goals is a personal journey that requires self-awareness, flexibility, and intentionality. By redefining balance, managing your mental space, and setting boundaries, you can create a life that feels fulfilling both on paper and in your mind. Remember, it’s not about perfection; it’s about progress. As you embark on this journey, keep in mind that balance is a dynamic dance, and you have the power to choreograph it… Tango, Zumba, or Modern… it’s up to you!
PS. Hot tip: If you want to make your 13-year-old laugh, improv her dance routines for her. Also useful as a meaningless threat/inducement to action, as in, “I will do a Rambert Dance routine out here right now if you don’t get out of the car, please.”